Doing my part to help folks combat the seemingly endless winter that is sweeping most of the US of A, I made a rare visit to the long-slumbering Curious Stories site, and dropped in a “new” free story that hopefully will help all the humans trapped inside kill a few moments of cabin fever.

“New” is in quotes because this story was written a very long time ago (so long ago, it was composed on an IBM Selectric typewriter).  The reason I am giving that information out is that a large part of this story involves mocking (then) current advertising slogans, jingles and other consumer-targeted nonsense. For people who do not recall those, or never experienced them in the first place, the story may seem even more incoherent than usual from me.

Similarly, the painful wincing at the prose of a much younger and self-righteously earnest me strongly suggested that I revise this story to at least minimize personal embarrassment. However, I have elected to let it appear in all the story’s original glory, figuring it is of more interest as a snapshot of a different time. (Oat bran muffins, anyone?) Besides, it is, after all a FREE story, and–as we all know–free stories, like free advice, are typically worth exactly what one paid for them.

Anyway, with that caveat, onward. You can get to the story by clicking the “Free Story” tab above, or by just clicking here to open a new window.

Stay warm,

Bill B.